As far as gift buying goes, presents for your partner are by far the most troublesome. They are the ones you spend the most money on, the ones you contemplate the most and the ones it is most important to get absolutely right. Buying your cousin the wrong type of DVD for Christmas will have much less serious consequences than messing up the gift for your partner. At best you’ll get a polite smile and a bit of the silent treatment and at worse a ‘you don’t know me at all’, an argument and a storm-out. Not the best way to start any present-appropriate celebration!
Failsafe gifts
A failsafe way to get someone the right gift – not just your partner but anyone – is to listen out for cues in their conversation. Open your ears for the few weeks before a special occasion, especially in shopping centres while browsing. This should at least give you a few ideas. If this fails and you’re really clueless about what to buy, here are a few presents that always go down well…
For him
- Bathroom products that aren’t too girly
- DVDs of a film you’ve seen together (and he liked)
- CDs of his favourite band (that he doesn’t have already)
- T-shirts with funny slogans (if he has several of these already)
- A shirt or pair of smart shoes
For her
- Any bath product that smells nice
- A top-up bottle of her perfume
- Anything pretty, provided it’s in keeping with her usual style
- A plain but obviously expensive piece of jewellery (apart from rings – see below)
- Something delicious that you made yourself
A few don’ts
No matter how you decide on your gift, make sure you avoid these key mistakes – these will cause more harm than good, whether you just met on eHarmony or you’re celebrating 15 years of marriage.
Don’t buy a gift for yourself
The worst possible thing to do is buy something for yourself. This will usually be a joint thing that you will both logically use, but you will probably get the most use out of it – kitchen appliances, your latest favourite film on DVD, car parts. Try to avoid the ‘joint’ present altogether, as it will only cause offence.
Don’t buy a hint
If you’ve been nagging your partner about losing weight, learning how to cook or taking up a hobby with you, don’t incorporate this into your present. They really won’t appreciate running shoes or a cookery book if it’s one of your schemes that they have little interest in and could ultimately just be insulted by it.
Don’t scare them off
Consider your relationship carefully before buying an overly expensive or overly romantic present. Rings should be avoided in the early stages of relationships, as they could give someone the wrong idea. Also, stick to a relatively small budget at first – you could even agree on a limit between you so you don’t overdo or underdo the gift.
If you’re still having problems, just buy them something that you would like – if you’re compatible enough and the gift isn’t too gender specific, then they’re bound to like it (so long as it is really for them). If you met on niche dating websites – whether vegan, pet lovers’ or Christian dating sites – you can be pretty sure you will have similar tastes. If not, listen out for any hints they drop and follow the advice above.
